Thankfully American

Bob: And perhaps therein lies the problem. We've lost sight of what's important.

Cal: Indeed, that's the word at my barbershop. The woman who cuts my hair said to me recently, "Maybe one benefit that will come from the economic downturn is that it will bring families closer together." I thought back to my childhood and those wonderful Thanksgiving dinners with many family members gathered together in my dad's hometown of Washington, Ind. We didn't have much materially, yet we had everything.  People today are struggling because they're out of a job, have taken cuts in pay, have lost a home or are ill. But perhaps they will rediscover through it all some of the things that matter most in life.

Bob: The ability to put food on the family table — on Thanksgiving or any other day — tops any family's list of what matters most.  We need to remember how far behind the average American family has fallen in its standard of living because of stagnant wages, health and energy costs, and job losses. To compensate, families have gone into deeper debt because credit, until now, has been easy to obtain. But how much is enough? When does want supersede need?

Cal: A lot of us have bought into the idea that more and bigger are better, and that material things bring happiness. This is marketing, not common sense.  If I'm not earning more than I did last year, driving a nicer car than I owned five years ago, living in a bigger home than my parents did, then somehow I am being denied the American dream? This has led to unrealistic expectations.

Bob: So where do we go from here? It's easy to feel thankful when you're working, when you can pay your mortgage and when you can send your kid off to college. But what do you tell the single mom who just lost her job and has three children to feed? This isn't about consumerism anymore. And forget about red states and blue states. This economic crisis knows no borders.

Cal: First, let's be thankful for our government. Yes, I said it. Liberals tend to believe that conservatives only think that the best government is one that gets out of the way. That's true to a degree, but in times of crisis, government — because of its size and reach — can serve as a stabilizing force. Though I don't agree with all of the measures the government has taken in this financial crisis, I must say that now is one of those times. Extraordinary times do call for extraordinary measures. I only hope government doesn't make an extraordinary mistake.

Bob: It's true, too, that Americans increasingly feel like we're all in this together. We just came out of yet another divisive election cycle, and I'll bet you a turkey sandwich that John McCain supporters wouldn't care one whit if a President Obama led them out of this economic calamity. Country matters a heck of a lot more than party.

Cal: You said it. So now that I've given a nod to the power of government, let me tell you what I'm even more thankful for: the power of people. One of the things I have come to admire about you is your work at a homeless shelter this time of year. A lot of people want others — especially government — to have primary responsibility for the poor. I think there are other ways, such as the example that you and millions of other Americans set by volunteering.

Bob: The dirty little secret is that a person who volunteers gets as much, or more, from these efforts as the people on the receiving end. I've spent virtually every Thanksgiving of my adult life working for the homeless collecting food or serving it at shelters. I take much more from the homeless community than I can possibly give. Yet when Thanksgiving is over, I know that I'll go back to my heated home while those whom I have just served will return to the dangerous and unhealthy streets. That's why I volunteer year-round. And not to sound alarmist, Cal, but if the economic pain continues to spread, more people will be suffering on the streets.

Cal: I heard a pastor once say that we should not feel guilty about what we have, but grateful. At the same time, though, we all have the capacity to help someone who has nothing. Our church, for instance, is providing an opportunity to contribute to a fund that will put a traditional Thanksgiving dinner on tables that otherwise might not have one. I once had little and remembered those who helped my family. They never asked to be repaid, only that I "pass it on."

Bob: There are many volunteers like me, but the homeless need help year-round. And families who are losing their homes need help now. People losing their jobs need help now. Yet even with all thevolunteers in this country, government can and must do more. The homeless problem is bound to get worse. Volunteers alone can't solve the problem. Government at all levels needs to be a partner.

Cal: Amen to the idea of a partnership. I think we as a society have redefined charity and compassion as a government responsibility. I can't think of anything I have purchased or achieved that has meant as much to me as helping another person make his or her life better while working to become self-sufficient. That used to be the purpose of most charity, but the focus has shifted in a way that creates too much dependence and not enough independence. Former presidents Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush have tried to encourage more volunteerism, with some success. But so much more could be done.

Bob: The beauty of volunteering is that it's non-partisan. When I scan the line of volunteers serving food at the shelter on Thanksgiving, there are no D's or R's stitched on their aprons.

Cal: This brings us back to where we started: consumerism. I'll be the last person to tell an individual how to spend his or her money, but I will give my advice to those seeking to live a better life. Simply weigh your choices. Should you buy that 30th pair of shoes to store in your closet, or should you give that money to a charity that helps provide clothes to the unemployed who are trying to look good for a job interview?

Bob: Or as we head into the holiday season, what about the kids? Parents should ask themselves, does their child need every whiz-bang toy in the toy store, or might he benefit more from a life lesson that comes with giving toys — or in some families, simply clothes — to those less fortunate?

Cal: Thanksgiving doesn't have to be, nor should it be, a dour holiday this year, in which guilt replaces joy and tears replace laughter. But it hurts no one to reflect on what God has given all of us, and what those more fortunate are capable of as a result of God's generosity.

Bob: Well said, my friend. You often hear the story of the heart attack victim who lives to see another day. He's wiser, though. He starts to eat healthier foods. He exercises. He gets regular checkups. And he relishes every day of the new life ahead of him. In many ways, this crisis might simply be an economic heart attack that this country will certainly live through. Though it's difficult to see this now, we'll ultimately be wiser, strong and better for it. The country is going through a period of self-examination, and so, I suppose, are her citizens.

Cal: Let's be thankful we live in a country that unites during crisis, and whose people are held together by a uniquely American fabric.

Bob: Unfortunately, it seems to take times of crisis to really appreciate how little our political persuasions matter. Happy Thanksgiving, Cal.

Cal: And the same to you, Bob. I'm thankful for our friendship, which transcends so many of the things that divide people in America.